I'm not weary, just devoid of joy,
Sometimes hurt, sometimes in turmoil.
Changed by a mistake I've made,
I thought it was something I could evade.

Always locked in this kind of dilemma,
When will I be free and filled with euphoria?
The version of me that surpasses all trouble,
Will it lighten or will my suffering double?

I yearn to tackle all the problems,
The kind where every move I make seems calm.
Now I'm in hardship, barely able to breathe,
Striving to alter the sad destiny I bequeath.

Unable to weep in front of others,
I conceal the tears that smother.
I'll inhale deeply, smile, and say I'm fine,
I'll persist even if I'm on the decline.

Here I am, astray in bliss,
Striving to traverse the winding abyss.
Dreaming, yearning,
When will I be advancing?

I was altered, I've changed,
No longer the jovial soul once exchanged.
Who always brought laughter with a joke,
Now, that part of me is cloaked.