My heart feels heavy
Maybe because of writing
Or maybe not because of writing
But the pain is abundance
Of love and not love
Smile reciprocates through tears
Abundance of fears to feel lonliness
As a choice
As if I'm the only one left alone
In a deserted cold
Shivering and crying
Under the shadow
Shadow of unknown
Confusing yet relief
As acceptance leads to debt
Just like the love that indebted to me
Behind all the circumstances
I will look and fear and yet confused
To make lonliness my home
Sometimes I may cry for love
Sometimes smile for being alone
And sometimes cry and smile being surprised at my fate.
Holding it's breath.

© ara_momi124