I don't fear death so much as I fear its prologues: grief, loneliness, decrepitude, pain, debilitation, depression, senility.

After a few years of those, I imagine death presents like a holiday at the beach and grief my companion.

Many times, as I grieve, I hoped that life moves on without me. I’ll catch on later, in my own time.

A lot of times I don’t have the motivation to engage people as they want me to. I'm tired from my loss.

Grieving, yet I have to wear the cloak of strength because I have a personal responsibility to myself and everyone I love to stay unbroken in grief.

Although, I recognize that everything is finite — good and bad times.

I recognize that I must not feel entitled to an interminable period of happiness; that sadness is as temporary as joy and I have an entire lifetime to enjoy both.

I recognize that there’s a depth in adversity that pulls you back to your core. And grief sometimes pulls you to that core.

So, I won't put a silver lining on my pain because I grieve and it's ok.

But I grieve today and press on tomorrow. because that's what I do.
I try again, everyday.

© jk writes!