Do It
I enjoy being inactive in social medias but I do get jealous on what other people do,
Changing profiles, posting stories, sharing posts
You'd never catch their phone without any notifications
Imagine the memories to look back as they grew

Yet I am here behind the phone, nervous and panicking
No one would even care about the situation that I'm in
I stare at the buttons that I am afraid to press
"Post" oh how I missed sharing comfortably and genuine, when was the last time I saw that word?

I know nobody cares whatever posts I am sharing,
But I cannot help myself on noticing small dull details none would even look at.
Thinking I'd end up on group chats with me as the main topic,
Oh what a main character I am? They won't even bother overanalyzing

Still, a part of me does not want people to know a detail of mine,
I'd like to keep it to myself, a treasure that only I would know.
But I atleast want them to know a little of me, right?
Ah, I don't know, whatever I do, it does not really matter.

Am I just holding back myself for nothing? How is it holding back when I could not even make a decision, yet I am annoyed from what I could have done without all of this overthinking?
I'd be stuck and would do nothing where in the future I'd be greeted by the regrets "I wish I have done that" "I wish I was not scared"

I am tired of having thoughts where it would only make me end up miserable where I'd think it'd be resolved but in the end it just gets worse.
It feels irritating on wanting to do more than one thing at the same time and aspect where it results on doing actually nothing. Pick one, and do not regret it, if you do regret it, then atleast stand up for what was done. It is that EASY, why can't I do it?

It is pretty crazy how I started on a poem of being active on social media or not, to this thought that I have no idea where it came from, with those unexpectedly appearing from my head and got delivered with my fingers and is now being typed and written on this device. Seriously I have no idea how to end this and more thoughts just kept on coming in my mind yet I have no idea how to express them anymore.

Maybe I had too much coffee.

© ia