Where and how do I start?

Upon empty pages
My ink drips away
Pausing between trembling fingers,
And rambling thoughts
Trying to make sense.

Tracing broken lines
And blank spaces
Of these nine-lettered words:
Letting go.

Perhaps it is:

Leaving in suffocating silence
Lip biting, words stuck in my throat,
left alone to live
Each day in endless reruns of
Timeless longing, anxiety or fear;
Trying to push your number
and stopping just midway,
Holding back through puffy eyes
and drenched pillowcases.
It's minutes passing like days
Months to years that follow forever; ...