In this rainy night,
I am sitting in the darkness
Looking forward for your message
Looking forward to hide from my life
Because it's killing me from inside
I thought the new beginning will give me some light
Or the new connections with people help in to conquer my life
But who knew that I was the poison that was killing me all my life.
I tried, I truly tired,
All the things
I talked with people
I walked miles
I even got a lovely bf, you know it yourself right?
But it couldn't fill my void
I am still empty inside
I can't do shit
I am a worthless pices of matter
Which shouldn't be having a life
I am getting breathless second by second as I live my life
Even going out is not helping me
My brain is all empty
I can't think of anything that can't give me having pleasure in life
Which will again leave , making me felt unalive.
I don't wanna move, don't wanna have this life.
Please someone please take me to heaven, to the god I wanna meet him to have small talk
Wanna ask him, why did they made me like this, a shitty person to be alive.

So many people in my life
Love me, cares for me deeply
And I still feel like this all the time
My love my life,
I like you enough to share a bed with you and had the most beautiful moments when you were by my side.
I love you ❣️
I want you to be close,
I want you to want me how much I like you my honeypie.
When will this end, when will I get my happiness, my peace and not wanting to kill myself all the time.
Even the meds are not helping me
They are just making me feel I am a walking zombie, I am a heartless monster because I can't feel a thing inside.
Perhaps I am dead inside
I am a person who does not deserve a life.
© rose