#TheUnrequitedLove

One lonely night,
My fingers moved of their own accord.
I typed your name into the search engine,
something I had successfully stopped
for months, because I knew deep down
it wasn’t healthy anymore.

But there was something about that night.
It was cold, seemed lonelier than before,
if that's even possible,
considering how I'd been feeling
all this time.

It was wrong, yet it felt like
the most natural thing to do.
It felt like I had missed you
more than I could ever admit to myself.

Let’s just say I wanted
the feeling to linger
longer than it should.

And if there's one thing that still rings true,
I still think of you,
and I still care for you.

It’s been a long time since I last saw you.
You looked well, appeared unfazed,
unbothered, even though I wasn’t in the picture,
no longer a part of your life,
no matter how small a part I had been.

I should be happy,
I am, for you.
I am happy for you.

I wish I could be
happy for myself too.

I wonder if I ever told you,
you reminded me of early morning,
cold, yet cozy, somehow giving a feeling of comfort,
something you wouldn't feel with anyone else.

But also sad, nostalgic,
no more than a temporary shelter,
something that you should know
wouldn't last, yet,
you still went for it,
because you were worth it.

The way things ended between us,
I must say, some of the few things
I'd rather not think about.

But then again, the more you try to avoid it,
the more you think about it.
It's something I can't shake,
no matter how hard I try.

There are times when I felt like
there's still a lot left unsaid
between us.

But then again, maybe that's just me,
wishing, hoping
things did not end
the way they did.

And for what it's worth,
no, I did not forget.

I still wish you all the best things
this life could offer.
Just like before, as always.

-poems i never intend to send to you
© euphemia
photo cover ©pining for pigment

@pixiedust @writco