It has been a week gone by,
Since thinking nope or do I.
It's about taking a yellow pill,
Try to settle me, not for a thrill.

Here I am, still in the universe,
Writing my thoughts in verse.
Whatever the tablet contains,
Sure eked out unbelievable pains.

My mouth tasted so metallic,
My mind was going psychedelic.
For first few nights, what is sleep?
Fighting the awakening so deep.

My night visions are of the end,
Thinking I've gone around the bend.
Waking then getting up to leave,
But I needed to stay and believe.

Daily, my head throbbed and hurt,
Like a thousands of ants in the dirt.
What the hell is wrong with me?,
I really wanted to go and be free.

Sunday morn at 1 am I made a call,
But I hung up, wanting to stall.
Bearing the guilt and shame,
Making my mind worse not tame.

The thoughts of not being here,
Seemed to be never more clear.
What has this drug done to my mind,
Yes it's made me subdued, in kind.

It has given me clearer path ahead,
Allowing me to plan better instead.
Last two days, mind feels at ease,
Still thoughts of end of days tease.

So who knows my outcome bar me,
Visions can become a sad reality.
My inner emptiness held in by skin,
My 'I don't give a shit' attitude a sin.

Has the yellow pill done its magic?,
Weeks will tell if its turned tragic.
Yes seventh day in, while I'm around
My thoughts have not run aground.

Not being here is winning the wits,
But the battle is not calling it quits.
My mind, screwed as it is, is there
Just got to find it and learn to care.

My patience is starting to wear thin,
I just don't know how I will fit in.
One way or another, time will tell,
Whether I am here or gone to hell.

©EKEllis (2016)