I'm 21 and I feel like I've done enough and yet nothing at the same time.

Sitting here at the edge of the building,
My feet hanging with no sense of gravity.

Body numbed with pain,
I stare out into the distance,
Watching the sun fade.

I watch the palm tree silhouettes turn to black,
The clouds turn grey,
Lights turn on one by one.

I look up at the sky above,
Watching the stars peek over clouds,
Twinkling over the scard sky,
I find myself wondering.

I wonder about everything and yet nothing at all.
Gravity slowly seeps in as I look over the edge.
Peaceful alley ways fill led with black,
While cars paint the streets with light and sing their symphonies to fill the void between the floor and me.

I can barely hear them.
Fuzzy and ambient in the distance.
I feel like crying but nothing happens.
I stand balancing my feet on the ledge.
Feeling so familiar yet strange all at the same time.

Moments feel like hours.
Here feels like nowhere.
Inner child dying in the silence.
Self finding the reasons to stay.

I lean over watching the many lives I will never see.
Looking eagerly at the distance between me and concrete.
I look over my shoulder to find no one but the shallow black figure with his hand on me.
I sigh as it grips.

Smiling temptatiously at my decision.
I plot myself down back on the ledge and it growls behind me.
I lite a cigarette, and sigh at the view in front of me.


© FragmentsInTheWind