For 21 years I have been searching,
For my purpose,
For myself cause at times I question my existence,
For a friend and
For love,
I always find myself lost and confused,
On these dark walls,
Boisterous of people,
I am shy,
I am creative,
I am a visionary,
I lack confidence,
I don't like attention,
I love too much,
I believe.

All signs that the world has shown me are questionable,
With a tape measure,
They are measurable,
I sit low with my head up high,
I never drunk alcohol or smoked weed,
That means I have never been heightable (high)
I check myself at times to see if am alive,
Can't question my life,
Cause I have been on a hive,
Looking at the sky with my thoughts up high,
Cold wind blowing up on my face,
Freezing the demons in my mind,
Chasing them in a place only I can find,
I keep them away to protect myself from losing myself,
And I hide,
And I hide,
And I hide,
And I hide,
To ensure that my physical well been is in check.

The things that I fear the most are the things that keep me going,
But fear has its own strengths,
The fear of rejection is the only fear that I have not defeated,
I run,
I run,
I run from it because I fear to get hurt,
I have been there before,
I devoted most of time listening to music to hide the scars,
And the shame,
I fear about my future,
Will I make it in life,
Will all these writing get me somewhere,
I fear about myself,
Will my confidence ever come,
Will I ever find love,
A simple concept for a simple mind,
That needs help and support,
A friend,
Okay am done been defensive,
I know I what something more than friendship,
I fear not because I want,
I fear not because I choose to,
I fear not because am a coward,
I fear not because I love to fear,
I fear not by choice,
I fear because am human.
© Shanzi. com