I swallowed a few pills and washed them down with a pint of Irish whiskey.

After a weekend binge I found myself wandering the night and into a carnival. I saw clowns parading around in two day old makeup and carnies showing off their meth black teeth.

A stranger approached me as I stood by the Ferris wheel in a drunken stupor, mesmerized by the kaleidoscope of blurry colors.

“I have what you’re looking for. I have the goods.”

There was silence in the air. It made my bones ache.

“I just want to feel wanted. I just want to feel loved.”

My vulnerability got the best of me, creating the chance of getting victimized.

He pulled out of his coat pocket a tiny crystal vial that contained a clear liquid. It seemed like nothing. It felt like nothing special.

“This is what you’ve been searching for. In this vial you will find pain and suffering. You will feel alone. You will experience heart break and the deaths of your loved ones. You will feel alone.”

After he spoke he placed the drug back into his pocket and pulled out a mask.

“You’re not ready for that which our Gods call life. Wear this mask and ponder the question, ‘What lives on its own substance and dies when it devours itself?”

I looked up at the stranger and cursed him and his ramblings.

“Shut your trap old man! I’m not ready to live nor die. Leave me be, in the tears of Icarus and in the arms of Juno. I am forever destined to dream but never sleep.”

I cried out loud as I clasped my hands to my face.

The stranger scratched the bottom of his chin and let out a deep sigh.

“Go unto the earth my child, trample the diseased flowers and rid your mind of such nonsense.”

He stepped away slowly, pointing his skeletal index finger at me.

“Be the lit candle in this World of darkness.”