1971, laying in my crib looking up i see his face and hear his voice. My diaper gets changed. My bottle is warming in water on the stove top. I'm being held. his words are gentle, and my heart filled with love. My 1st memory of nourishment, security and love.
1972. 2nd memory. I wake in my crib. I stand up and learn my strength can support my weight. I climb out of my crib and see a plastic pumpkin filled with candy. The pumpkin is almost as tall as me. I wander down the hall and step over a floor vent, I feel the warn air coming up. It feels cozy and I wonder about it, but move on. I reach up, turn the knob and the door opens, I wander into the front yard and down the street to the corner gas station.
1973
It's a birthday party at the park. All the kids are playing, running, laughing, but not with me. So I take off running down the road to the end of the park. And like the last time nobody noticed, or seems to care so I keep going. But someone driving by in a black and white car sees me and stops. Were is your family? I point in the right direction. He picks me up, takes me to my family and everyone runs up to us. Thank you officer, for bringing him back.
1974
My mom dressing me in overalls, the two straps over my shoulders and clips over two buttons fastened tight with a pull and a tug. She is satisfied that I'm all secured. tied my boots and sends me off to play. I run outside and it's all dirt. Whats this?, these little productive neat looking insects. little machines working the earth. My mom calls them ants. Yup, they bite and sting. She'll make it better.
1975
Tractors everywhere, one is digging a hole in my backyard. We walk and he talks to me, shows me the Tractors and the tracks they leave in the dirt. He comes home and I get a toy tractor to play with. This one is my favorite, it's called a bulldozer so I'm back in the dirt, with those ants.
1976.
It's a walk to school, 2nd time. He's talking to me , pointing his finger in the direction of those lemon trees. He picks one and peels it, and says have a piece. He lets out a big laugh when he sees me grimacing over the sour taste. I now know what lemon taste like.
1977.
That hole in the backyard is now filled with water. I watched the man smooth the white stucco and place the tile. Tossing large salt onto the concrete making texture while its still wet. The final finishes, then filling the pool with water. I'll be learning how to swim.
1978.
The backyard looks new with a pool. It's a sunny day, I have my overalls on, with my beige hiking boots. I've been playing in the dirt all day, It's almost dinner time. Must be about 4pm I think, something is off, I better go inside and see what mommy is doing. There she is, sitting in daddy's chair. Mom, we're is daddy? She's very sad and is crying but being very strong. She tells me he's not coming home....and I say, ok. and take off running to go play some more. One last look before I go... she's amused with a slight chuckle. except it's not really funny. It's cause she realizes I'm far from understanding. I captured that picture, I also noticed how beautiful my mother was at that moment, even in her worse grief, that slight smile gave window to her radiant soul.
© Antares M1 Dom001. 71