And for the first time my heart knew that it found a home
A safe and quiet space where I could undress
Every pain, every sorrow,
Every anxious thought which crippled me
The unshed tears from my eyes which shone like gems to my kith and kin
Every unshed tear which did drown me from within.
I could undress my burning rage which was trapped inside me
Like the volcano trapped within the rocks, ready to erupt
The glowing molten liquid so beautiful but yet so ready to disrupt
I thought could undress that glittery cloak of sunshine which was nothing but a knock off
To provide warmth to those I loved because
I knew no other way than to be a someone I'm not
A people pleaser , laughter ringing like chiming bells
Hiding all my suffering to bring a smile on someone else
I thought I could undress that mask of being the perfect girl
The perfect girl who was dainty and elegant like the rose
Whose thorns were hidden from sight
And I was glad, so happy with you, the home I chose.
I thought I could undress and lie naked in your embrace
And for once I thought my heart had found a home.
But when I did, my sorrow seeped into your bones
And my storm of tears and screams made you hide from being drowned
My flame of my rage burned you and charred your soul black
And the sunshine was shrouded by darkness which took over and had nothing to show
Your hands bled holding on to my thorns
And hurt, abruptly you let go.
I lay there undressed and all you saw were my ugly scars
Too deep to heal,
Too overwhelming to feel
To dark to reveal
The person who was underneath it all.
And you had to let go.
I thought in you, I found a home,
A safe and quiet space where I could undress
But a home cannot contain flames without burning down,
You are the home, I could not possess.

© NeethalSequeira