I am a girl raised to know better than to give people front row tickets to my inner monologues 
I had years of lectures about filtering my thoughts 
I wasn't to let anyone be privy to my  unmade decisions 
Growing up, i was taught to be poised, strong and perfect 
And if I wasn't, to look it.
I wasn't. So I looked it.
I am the underdog of every story 
The butt of every joke 
The punchline to your humorous jabs 
And a punch bag to your literal ones 

I am a poet that writes about authenticity  under a pen name 
The poster child of cowardice 
A writer that uses pseudo names to hide who I really am
A preacher that sins 
 I am an artist scared of signing my real name to my art
In fear of rejection I have been taught to expect from everyone 
A craftsman scared of attaching my true self to my handiwork out of fear of  an improbable failure 

You see, 
Growing up I was told to expect the worst from everybody. Even myself.
Growing up,  I was taught my worth equated the applause my acting invoked 
When I asked why I had to to follow the manuscript  in the first place 
They...