It's really difficult living in an actual nightmare,
I'm losing my mind and slowly losing my hair.
How come everything is not the same as it used to be?
I'm trapped in this prison cell that only I can see
I thought I could control the amount I was using,
I fucked that up quick, I soon started abusing.
Everyone is whispering behind my back, I can hear
I'm so depressed but I can't cry even one little tear
I'm not sure but I think I'm stuck in this place,
I know my addiction is something I have to face.
It's sickening on how much I changed from what I was before
I glance in the mirror; it’s not even me anymore
Holy shit, look at me. I've lost so much weight
Like hell I'm going out anywhere in this state
I have to accept the fact I'm powerless over my addiction
Leaving my house is my biggest restriction
I tried to become clean, it worked for a bit
Then I failed to do that, it’s impossible to quit
Really how can I be so powerless to this fucking gak?
Maybe it’s the self- confidence I lack
Nobody talks to me anymore, everyone shut me out
Where are all my buddies? I wonder what that’s all about
I'm slowly going crazy, I want out of this hell hole.
I just sit here and smoke jib quickly finishing the bowl
I'm fucking tweaking I need to get some rest
I can't fall asleep; I'll just finish the bowl, what I do best
I'm slowly dying on the inside; I hope no one sees through.
Fuck I’m a lost, lonely drifter without a fucking clue
I don't think that I'm going to live to be twenty;
I don't care that much, I've already seen plenty
Maybe this is now my life was destined to work out
I'll be one of those junkies who O.D you hear about.


2007
© Breeanne Brabner