Too Dark To Leave This Part

Warning this is not my usual it's worse.
*Read At Your Own Risk.

I don't want to be with him,
I don't know how he doesn't see it because a given,
I truly don't love him,
I think I should probably leave him,
but there's stuff holding me back form not being with him,
I wish we would have never touched each other once,
it disgusts me that we even touched each other willingly,
the thrill leap away and I started to see he was actually ill you see?