I have to announce my death
A poem that won't be read
Cos people can't stand the truth
I died a death in my youth.

Today I have died twice
Once as a nanna and a wife
Long ago you took my mind
I am dying all the time

Does anyone hear my anguish cries?
Or comforts me when I have died?
Or helps me sleep or stokes my head
It's killing me I am dead

The teacher died the daughter died
No one is by my side
Shunned by church she can't cope
The mad woman there is no Hope

Hope was the church they let me down
A " childish" woman left to drown
By ignoring me I die
Can't you look me in the eye?

I am dead but I want to live
But no like this ,not like sh*t
No hugs or sympathy but a rope
Round my neck round my throat

The rope is you , don't you see
How you all squeeze the life out of me
Social services, the church and then
Family too .Help me when?

Criticised and put me down
Yet you wonder why I have drowned
Drowned in misery and sin
My life is in the bin

I want to skip and laugh and play
But I will have to die today
And will God rescue me
With Him can I be free

If the Son shall set you free...
I know the words are they twee
I am imprisoned in my mind
I does not make sense all the time

A happy ending no, not yet
I am still dying although not dead
Much of me has died
You killed me swallow your pride

What is right, what is the wrong?
I am hurting hurting, where do I belong?
Not here and now no it is too much
I need so much the loving touch

I am dying but I am not dead
What will you do? What will be said?
You ignore me block me out
Am I so unworthy that why I shout

I am dying but I am not dead
I want another live instead
I what hope for that day
When I rest and rest and play

( Not suicidal just a pity party but very hurt and sad)

©️ETLW💖