Holding my breath waiting for the nightmare to end,
Youre gone and I dont know how to continue.

So many things I wanted you to see, so many things I wanted to be,
Now you're gone and you'll never know who I am.

So many thoughts spreading thru my mind like cancer,
Making me realize how hopeless I really feel.

Treading water on the hope that I can survive and actually breath,
That I won't drown in my own despair today.

Story's that I love and are so close to my very being,
Feel like poison, to any positivity that could possibly be in my body.

I hate myself for making you into something so sad when you had so much pride,
When you spent every moment holding your head high.

You were the picture of hope but also the picture of knowledge,
You knew what was happening and still managed to make me smile.

You and I laughed and breathed as though life was Neverending,
You made me forget that there was going to be an end.

I miss you and everything thing that you gave to me daily,
To the calm and the push that you spread to me when I was desperate.

Desperately trying to help find you a cure, a cure for something they didn't think was there,
For letting me ask for things that hurt you til the day you let go.

How do I go on knowing I caused you pain..
Knowing I pushed to get you more treatment that may had made it worse.

Dad, I would do anything to get you back to me,
To know you're okay where ever you may be.

I love you more then I could ever explain.