This heaviness has become a burden and thus making me heavy laden. All this is because of the love I feel for a beautiful maiden. A maiden who possesses the characteristics of a virtuous woman described in the bible. She's mostly described as a woman of dignity by people. But that's what hurts me the most because her dignity as woman has been taken.

My thinking and my emotions crushed, thus throwing away my inner masculine. "Where did the hard guy in me go? Since when did my emotional strength get legs to walk away from me? Oh no, I need help! Someone should help me!" This was me screaming and asking the most high for help. Events of the past were thrown at me during the time I was screaming for help. Found it difficult to discern whether it's the voice of God, the enemy or my inner self....