And I....with a passionate impatience,
shouted out to he who created me...
to kill me.
'It should be easy.
you are an almighty.
take this worthless life back and then...
maybe then...I will be of use to somebody!'
said I. to the one I was not qualified to speak to.
Mercy up on my soul...it's a miracle I've lived to tell the tale!

I waited for thunder to fall up on me...
the skies were so blue...
but it was cloudy in my head,
and my eyes were raining on to my face,
so I roared in anger and defiance,
to the almighty above....
'oh almighty almighty...
I stand here in defiance to you,
so kill me! I stand upon the blessings before me, angry and unfaithful,
flawed and not beautiful,
hugry for more when you made me full,
greedy ...and dumb...and cruel.
it will be a favour to us both...
kill me.oh kill me! I am ashamed of me! you know better than to keep me here don't you? oh wise one! send that thunder.'

so I went down on my knees!
and raised my hand as people do when they asked for mercy...
then i called out to my creator and asked God to kill me.

well....
that didn't happen did it?
I mean....I know no ghosts who wrote poetry...and surely...that won't start with me.
so....well...my tears dried and i saw the clear skies and ...well...knowing no thunder was coming to fetch me back to the doom I came from....
I got up and dusted my knees off and said...'well dear God, if you won't kill me....you well at least help me...'
....
so ....After such a dramatic prayer I went back to my chill zone where I meh_ed...