You can move but
it's never worth it.
It's like glass under your skin.
Ripping open veins.

You can cry but
it doesn't get you anywhere.
It's like screaming for help.
Then everyone looks away.

Instead you're given a towel. Usually it's stiff.
Handed folded clothes. They're fit like paper.
You get a number of tiny paper cups.
Followed by pills.

You wash your hair, lacking any shampoo or soap.
The water is always cold.
At least it numbs the skin.
You only get so much time,
to feel cared for by the water.

You end up sitting on the floor.
Instead of laying on the bed.
You've been laying on it for over 25 hours. Praying for it to all be over.
Besides. The floor doesn't have wheels, that can easily cart your semi corpse away.

They don't tell you anything.
So you learn to read expressions.
You learn what to predict.
When their stone cold eyes soften at the screen they've beens studying for hours.
They don't soften because they care about you.
They go soft from disappointment. Low odds of success.
You want their emotionless expressions to stay fixated.
You don't want to see anything change.

You start to question why you can't see your results.
They say I'll never see them. ...