I am trying to wrap my heart around
How it is the one you loved can hurt you so bad
I wonder how so many years can be invested
Just to ultimately be left in the darkness so sad.
I'm trying to convince my soul that it wasn't meant to go that way
And that somewhere along the way your heart was touched
That the bad along with the good memories were all part of a plan
That even if misunderstood there was reasons I loved you so much.
I just wonder if my tears falling affect your heart as yours do mine
For the last thing I ever would wish for you is love to fade away
But I often wonder just what went so wrong before I got to you
That had you so convinced that no love could be true and stay.
I only wished to change your thought on the way you viewed love
To show you that with a little faith you may find that one who'd always care
But maybe it's my fault, and I unknowingly pushed you from me
Yet, till my final days, in my dreams you will always be there.
Yours will be the face that continues to haunt my nights and days
You will be the reason that at the worst moment tears will fill my eyes
A piece of my soul will forever call out looking for that lost love
You will be the one my spirit searches for when I die.
I know you convinced yourself that I have never loved you
I know not the reasons, I would guess you were afraid of the fall
But I would have been right there to catch you and hold you
Because like I tried telling you, you were my first true love after all.

                        Nikki
               May 28, 2020
© Hailey Raine