For some reason I always feel the need to explain to you my feelings, an explanation of my absence.
For one I get the feeling of disappointment from you that I'm not what you want me to be.
I'm sorry if that is the case but I don't want to be some
selfmade word slinging, sassy trash talking woman
that everybody's attraction.
I have never been nor have I ever been attracted to that sort of a person. As I pay attention to my life and life in general it's less and less attractive to me.
The uselessness of all the petty word slinging starts endless petty fights and killing more niceness.
No one can account for anyone else's dignity only
it's own. I had gone years under the petty bickering
until I met you. For some reason I felt that you understood what was going on with myself.
You help me through a lot of things helping me to remember my roots and back to where I'm supposed to be in my life.
Making me remember the kinda woman that my roots and ancestors laid out for me to be years before I was even thought of.
I lost sight of the respect that I was brought up in not only for people but the Lord Jesus Christ.
That lost in itself is too great of a lost for me.
I fell in One of the most unattractive things to me
finding myself right smack dab in the middle of it.
Me finding myself trying to do what I saw others do
but not anymore.
You know what I learned over time well I'll tell ya
in my next letter got to go my great northern beans
need some water.

© writer