and then the thought drifted into my head
why be sad if you can be gone
and how did that feel
it felt like nothing
the surrender was merely a gradual comeuppance
and the white flag roused no emotion in me
my body had accepted what my mind knew long was the truth
to escape this horror i must escape you
the living - they were never made for me
I'd rather be silent in my grave than glassy eyed weeping on their stage
and so with the thought the dominos fell
i was no longer chequered, i was a story not even a blind person could tell
i resided in the darkness, it was as if i was never here
and how did that feel
it felt like everything.

© Judith Mallya