I am trying to convince my mind that it's not my fault, I did everything I could but I feel like the worst.
why?
I left her at her worst.
I meant fucking world to her- well that's what she used to say.

and I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me.
I am trying to act like it doesn't hurt,
like it never happened,
but the fact is thoughts about it can't leave my mind and every fucking thing remainds me of her.
I don't want her or the friendship back, but I don't want us to be completely strangers- she used to be like my sister and now a barely remember her voice, laugh...

I still feel like I am responsible for everything that happens in her life like it's still my obligation to make sure she will get better relationship with parents,
to make sure she will go see a psychologist,
to make sure she will find friends,
to make sure she will enjoy her life....


thanks for reading I really appreciate it 🫶🏻☆