Sometimes the silence is overbearing,
It echos as much as other sounds
My walls are barren, so my ears tremble
under the quiet vibrations of this room

The screaming in my skull
Will form into a whisper on my lips

"I want to go home..."
...this is where I live

I can't focus, can't remember
The last time I called a place home
Can't mutter syllables that resemble comfort
My skins been painted a few too many times

Sometimes, I feel the weight under my eyes
Stress, heartache, anxiety
Which will force my hand today?

I've been smiling more lately...
I love you...
I need you, I'm addicted

They'll laugh at my fixation, as if I'm joking
Kinda hurts, but I understand their viewpoint


You-can't-get-upset-about-the-disparity-of-my-attention-when-you-are-no-longer-willing-to-put-effort-into-making-me-happy


I know,
I can only truly rely on myself
to be able to make myself happy

...and that's saddening


My heart will be poured into fiction with a limit, my obsessive tendencies will sink into the ink on the pages. I'll let off a scent to ward off any who dare disturb my concentration, forcing myself into a state of solitude that includes only me, and you. My love. My will. My life.

My limited existence, to your limited content. Which will run out first? I hope to God mine! Reliance so powerful that living in a world without you is a world no longer able to make me smile. Please...won't you stay and make me smile?

My heart can't take the thought of a day I can no longer look forward to you. I've gone mad! Pure ecstasy in the moments I have with you, but you are limited. That thought is crushing...


I've been smiling more lately.
Its threatening to say it's because of you

Not because of my own efforts of self improvement, or the betterment of relationships with my friends,

but because I thought that I, an addict for a smile, could handle coming back to you


I thought itd be fine


My heart wouldn't pound so vigorously
My eyes wouldn't go bloodshot
My blood wouldn't rush
My smile wouldn't stretch more then a thin line

But here I am, enjoying the jolts my nerves feel when I see you

I love you, I'm not ready for this to end
I need you, I'm not ready to go back to my serotonin-less life

When I have you I feel warmed and loved, this chilling pain hits different after having you



I'm not ready for this crash







© Marah Schneider