There's a werewolf in my garden
it's been clawing at my door
So I've barricaded the windows
and I'm cowering on the floor

I wished I owned a shotgun
All I have’s a kitchen knife
I need to hatch a perfect plan
to save me or my wife

So I’ve made a little judgement
I made it right there on the spot
I'll use my wife as bait
whether you think that's right or not

I'll throw her in the garden
and escape out of the front
I know I'm completely out of order here
I know I'm being a cunt

But my wife is always moaning
And she always burns me dinner
So I'll throw her in the garden
Now everyone's a winner

I'll make my escape
As the werewolf makes its kill
Then I'll live like a king,
off of the proceeds of her will.....

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