I am a shattered husk of a man bound by the eyes of which others see me. The imaginings of a man desired to be liked and loved, not even aware of those that have already accepted his figmentation. This isn't me... It's just an imaginary me, not real because I just do not feel anymore. Scared of myself, not of power, but growth. Though, forward I endeavor to travel, forward as I infantilize this concept and forward to me. In which this trial in myself begins, I shall defeat this creature, to ever walk the path of helping... I desire something simple, but I dare say "I'm not good enough" because I'm a monster. Though, not a traditional monster, I do not kill nor defile people. I've been passed the secrets of a monster, he showed me what it means to be terrified. Since this monster showed me... I know I have the power to terrify others with my words and actions. I do not deserve to be happy, at least that's what I tell myself. Never being able to save a loved one... just... scars the soul. I cannot hurt anyone, but I know I have the power and the very mindset to destroy those in my way. Therefore, my path is a hard one fought within myself. Broken is what I'd like to say, but it is not true. What is true though? Here's what I think: I believe my smile is real and genuine, though my words hold no lies, they cannot bide by truth. I seek my mind, yet my mind speaks across to you in my stead. Forever locked away because of a terrifying moment. At which I surrendered to my fears, to forever seek the path of stillness. I seek redemption, for those I could not save and for my inaction. I am a monster that chose tranquility over those that suffered in my place. This is my court and I shall rectify this injustice within myself.

© Process-12