Like the title I say.
"How are you?"
"I'm good,what about you?"
That's what I always say.

Today I didn't even pretend.
I didn't smile always as I need to.
It's obvious for me to be happy.
But not today.

All day I had these mind eating thoughts.
Like the ones:
"I want to kill myself"
"No one needs me"

"Nobody cares about you"
"Why am I like this?"
"Everyone hates me"
"I'm bad at everything"

This could go on for
about an hour.
I considered getting a
therapist now.

All day I wanted to blast
music in my ear,
Just be home and chill.
Also I wanted to die all
day but anyways.

It would feel good if
anyone noticed my thoughts.
Though someone asked
me if there's a problem,
I said:"no I'm just tired"

I didn't lie.
I am tired.
Tired of life.
I miss my old me.

Atleast she could pretend to
be happy.
But I can't even do that right.
Don't try to cheer me up today.

So,yes I had a great day.

© Tortise