I am sitting in this room thinking like what the fuck, why can't I get this life right? I had somewhat of a future and it looked a lil bright until I came face to face with these problems now im at war with myself and it's not a fair fight, so I do the wrongs that i don't want to do, by flicking the bic than takin hit after hit ... I can only guess why you split. It's been a few months and I want to quit, but I blacked out and almost got lost in the dark. But if you can believe what I seen I the dark it's what I'm bringing to the light. But your probably like that was just a dream. Well if I am dreaming let me continue dreaming cause what I'm seeing is a picture so perfect, that you could only see it with eyes wide shut. So take a look into the eyes of the believer,

it's no longer I the deceiver who you thought I was. Because that's not who I am. I took accountability for my flaws habits and my every sin. But you probably wouldn't understand. Than again that's just me assuming the worst. Have you ever had to walk to your funeral without a hearst? It's the worst feeling ever. Its like bein the loneliest person in the world. Or crying out loud in a crowd but no one hears you... now that hurts and for what it's worth. I apologize if I lead you to believe that u was perfect cause I'm really not. I've tried to reenact that perfect moment place and time with every thouht the irony of it all is that we could have had it all.


© Juan Blue demon Alvarez