The water filling my eyes, the lump in my throat, the pain of being unloved and forgotten by the one I love with all my being, not once, but twice, I have never wanted to be away from you, not even for a day, but I can sit alone and cry and that's okay with you. But I remember when you cared. I remember when I was loved. The pain of being nothing and no one, easily forgotten and left alone to cry, by someone who once cared, it never goes away, not when you love like this, not like this. It's grief that's heavy. It's becoming a part of who I am. My heart stops wanting to beat, it slows down, it's as if it will just stop if I give it permission. My blood gathers and clots in my body, in my chest, my heart tries to push it through, but it doesn't try very hard. It's waiting for me to tell it that it can just stop. Maybe I will. It doesn't matter who loves you when the one you love doesn't love you, The only thing you feel is how much they don't care. My tears are falling now. My chest is hurting now. I'm alone now, just the way I was always meant to be.
© Melissa Mae