if I have a strange, dazed look on my face,
or an empty seaching in my eyes
like looking through the glass of disappointment
in the oblivion of loving you

there's no mistake, I'm not lost in love
its that I've lost love, for myself
I've misplaced somehow the very standards
that map the very things I deserve in life

Should you see the mascara bleeding
black down my cheek
falling to keep in my pocket
don't blame the tongue lashings that litter my self confidence
while you watch me choke on the bitter truth that you are exactly the type you ought protect me from

and if the silence bothers you
its not like I have nothing at all to say
its just I'd rather waste my breath
asking your mother her opinion
why her son suddenly disappeared
if I told you hating me was a choice,
I told you so
© Quila Marie