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Dear Special One
Dear Special One,
This is the second day of trying to distance my heart from yours.
It has been hard. Harder than the social distancing caused by the Coronavirus.
The worst part is that while I'm trying so hard to fight the boredom caused by the virus, I'm fighting harder to fight the boredom that my heart and mind and soul are experiencing as a result of my trying to distance myself from you.
How do I convince my mind that my heart doesn't feel a thing for you?
How do I fight this battle between what I know and what I feel?
How do I unlove you?
The more I try to stay away from you, the more I love you more.
The stronger this feeling of love becomes.
How do I unfeel?
How do I erase the beautiful memories we had? Because, that'd be the most effective way to unlove you.
I can't even harbor the thought of not loving you.
You are a friend.
An amazing friend.
I've beat my chest, making the "Be a man" gesture. Asking myself to not care, to not bother.
To just let go.
But how do you let go, when letting go tears away a huge part of you?
How do you let go, when you can't even stop holding on?
How do you even convince your head to believe what your heart and mind know is a lie?
My heart sits in a corner of this weak body of mine, crying and sobbing, asking me to not hurt her.
To not break her. To not let her shed tears of blood.
But...
But, I don't know how to do this.
2 days seem like 2 weeks.
2 months, actually.
I'm afraid too, of being broken.
Of not getting this love I'm giving in return.
Of getting... Nothing.
You asked why I chose you.
Why it had to be you.
Should there be a reason for love?
I mean, what happens if that reasons expires?
Or stops existing?
The only thing I know is that you fill this heart of mine with peace.
Peace.
Perhaps, that's the reason.
I need you.
As much as I love you.
You are priceless.
A priceless jewel to me.
Give Us a chance to happen.
A chance to grow.
A chance to be.
Love always finds a way of happening.
And, I don't think distance is that way.
This is the second day of trying to distance my heart from yours.
It has been hard. Harder than the social distancing caused by the Coronavirus.
The worst part is that while I'm trying so hard to fight the boredom caused by the virus, I'm fighting harder to fight the boredom that my heart and mind and soul are experiencing as a result of my trying to distance myself from you.
How do I convince my mind that my heart doesn't feel a thing for you?
How do I fight this battle between what I know and what I feel?
How do I unlove you?
The more I try to stay away from you, the more I love you more.
The stronger this feeling of love becomes.
How do I unfeel?
How do I erase the beautiful memories we had? Because, that'd be the most effective way to unlove you.
I can't even harbor the thought of not loving you.
You are a friend.
An amazing friend.
I've beat my chest, making the "Be a man" gesture. Asking myself to not care, to not bother.
To just let go.
But how do you let go, when letting go tears away a huge part of you?
How do you let go, when you can't even stop holding on?
How do you even convince your head to believe what your heart and mind know is a lie?
My heart sits in a corner of this weak body of mine, crying and sobbing, asking me to not hurt her.
To not break her. To not let her shed tears of blood.
But...
But, I don't know how to do this.
2 days seem like 2 weeks.
2 months, actually.
I'm afraid too, of being broken.
Of not getting this love I'm giving in return.
Of getting... Nothing.
You asked why I chose you.
Why it had to be you.
Should there be a reason for love?
I mean, what happens if that reasons expires?
Or stops existing?
The only thing I know is that you fill this heart of mine with peace.
Peace.
Perhaps, that's the reason.
I need you.
As much as I love you.
You are priceless.
A priceless jewel to me.
Give Us a chance to happen.
A chance to grow.
A chance to be.
Love always finds a way of happening.
And, I don't think distance is that way.
