i feel it
the lump the numb feeling
inside where your heart is suppose
to be but you feel like it's not
you want it to stop to end
like the world will one day
you think
but mostly feel in your inside
it hurts but no one knows
no one knows because you hide it all
keep the same expression throughout
the school day with your family
and who you so call friends
im tired and broken
dont wannna live anymore
is sucide my only option
my life is on the edge
should i take a pack and eat it all
no or just jump from the highest cliff
but no
i want it to end once and for all
i keep the same expression to hide all my
emotions to pretend i am strong
you dont know me
yet your mind likes me identifying
from what i wear what i do
and when i look at you
i may seem quiet and shy
honestly though its my anxinty that is high
and my deppresion is lower than low
i wannna die
but yet you dont know no one knows
i live for one reason and its personal
please help im drowning inside from
my thoughts and my feelings
the well im in has too much water
it cant hold anymore
but as people come by and take water it helps
in life though you lose some or they let go
it hurts and it starts to refiill agian
you can enjoy life but once in a while you feel will feel some pain
in whatever way it still will hurt
although imagine feeling that over and over again
never stopping but keeps going on and on
if you find a break you feel relieved
finally happy, it wont last though you know that
when those thoughts start popping in your head again
your mind is telling you one thing
your heart another
isn't your brain and heart suppose to stick together help each other
i wonder
you dont know
you dont
how much it hurts,
how much i wanna let go
you dont know, you dont
i wish you did but i also wish you for you the best
HELP im drowning my own self
if you can hear or sense any of my desperation
your chance to know though will be really low
i keep it well inside i hide it all
with the darkest covers i can find
how long shall i go on
how long shall i live
i dont know but i try
because in the end i believe that
this really tiny hope i have inside
will be worth it one day
so i will just keep holding on
to the tiny hope i have somewhere hidden inside

Rebecca Merise