I’m truly feeling like half a person
I’m lacking my purpose. 
I want to restart over and never look back sometimes
I feel like I’m living in a fucking up lie
A lie I’ve made for myself 
To reach some arbitrary goal
To reach some final destination in my fucked up head
But this feeling doesn’t stop 
Nothing ever goes away
It all just stays the same
My job that I hate
The people I associate myself with who behind my back tear me down
The classes I take
It’s all too much
I’m so overstimulated 
Like I can’t just sit down and breathe
I just have to go and go and my body isn’t used to that
My body isn’t used to working and going to school 7 days a week
I want it all to end
I want to see my family again
I want to start over
I want to tear this life down that I have worked to create
I tell myself I could go somewhere new
Where no one knew my name
Where I didn’t have school or work
But i have glued myself down in the life I’ve curated 
I’m stuck mentally,physically and especially emotionally 
I can’t form a coherent full thought 
I swim in the pool of half baked poems in my head
The water pulls me under and I can’t breathe some days
The worst part is I think I’ve drowned myself 
Probably on purpose 
Or it’s...