I'm so done with everything I'm trying to be so fine with a false smile, I can't put the genuine feelings of I'm not Ok, I'm so fucking exhaust why I need to be pretended like I don't hurt my feelings, How long should i need to let my feelings hide, why is so difficult for me to make it happen in ease, sometimes I wonder maybe I wouldn't make it to the things I wanted the most, this is how my life would end in grief. I can't describe the feeling like how I want to express it in a way where my heavy heart would completely sign in relief, but this is too complicated with my life.
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Life is not easy for all and this is inevitable. please Be gentle if you happen to meet me. My smiling face doesn't mean I'm completely living a life with no wound, all my scars are under my skin, she fakes a smile with no one to discover and finally she won by pretending so beautifully, and somehow if you happen to glance I'm being rude, then take it as you care less because the situation wasn't right to behave beyond you expected.
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People know nothing about a life I'm healing with more than a thousand scars. I have a poor relationship with some so-called people, they only know how to point out my flaws and I pretended it doesn't hurt me anymore. I can't hide my feelings from those negative noises, because this is too loud and there is no safer place than to listen with silence and pretend everything is ok to receive, but it gets worse the more I get older.
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Honestly I hate being too emotional for I'm unable to be strong at the moment when I need to be the most .
Don't judge me so easily just because I have nothing today, don't mistaken for today I'm living with underachiever,
Today won't describe my whole story. My life is not as easy as yours, but still I am breathing in joy despite so many obstacles and setbacks.



© Sarita jeinao
@saritajeinao