surgical heartbreak
I'm coding
I can't seem to keep a heartbeat without you near me
it's dark in here someone is opening me up with a 10 blade
each slice through the flesh, a reminder
of the precision it takes to mend what’s broken

my hands, once steady, now tremble
as I navigate through the labyrinth of veins
searching for a pulse, the rhythm lost
when you walked away

the monitors beep, an incessant metronome
counting the seconds since you left
I stitch and suture, but these wounds run deeper
than any scalpel can reach

I’m coding
in the sterile silence, I hear your voice
a phantom echo in the chambers of my heart
the sutures hold, but the cracks remain
an intricate puzzle of sinew and sorrow

I close the incision, but the ache persists
no amount of anesthesia can numb this pain
I’m coding, and with each beat
I feel the absence of you
a hollow void in my chest

the lights above me fade
and in the dim glow, I see
that not all hearts can be healed
not all wounds can be closed
I’m coding, and the only remedy
is the touch of your hand, the warmth of your love

but you are gone, and I am left
to mend the pieces that will never fit
a surgeon with a broken heart
lost in the operating room of my own despair
© jMaj161914