To:
The love of my life

Every day passes by like the wind on a stormy day.

But the feeling of waiting for tomorrow to come is like being stuck in a tornado.

Swirling with emotions of sadness, hardships, loss and feelings of despair.

As the days go by one by one, the less time I was meant to be with you.

We are both in extremely difficult times in our lives and my wish is just to be by your side and you side by side with me.

'Together.

Physically intertwined.

All of who you are and all that's within me, the twin flame connection.'

The blessing given to us by God and the universe to be the loves of each other's lives to share beyond eternity.

I couldn't love anyone more than I love you before or never again.

Reading that you're over me makes breathing nearly impossible.

My chest becomes tight from the deepest, physical and emotional cry like I've never experienced.

It's hitting me with such a powerful impact.

Unbearably and shockingly knocking the wind out of me.

It's giving me a panic attack.

I'm in deep, deep despair.

I've always loved how you take my breath away.

But the words you wrote in your letter are making me overwhelmed and wanting to suffocate.

I'd rather never breathe again.

I want to pass out and never wake up.

I'm so empty.

I'm lost for words.

Unable to express the depth of my love for you and how you're taking away my hopes, dreams and love of my life right from underneath me.

Is the way of swiping me off my feet one more time?

My heart is shattered so badly the pieces are far too plenty to put back together.

There is no mending that can be done.

I wish I didn't hear the volume of the words you used I've just read.

Screaming, over and over again in my mind.

It's making me want to bury myself alive.

Suffer.

Suffer terribly because I undoubtedly caused this.

I've had to endure this attack of heart felt agony.

Again.

This is my punishment for not being a good enough partner.

You don't trust me when I say I believe in you.

And you think that I'm not behind you to my fullest extent.

I'm not good enough.

I never was.

I give to you always, when I can and even when Im really unable.

That's not fair of you.

You've proven this time and time again.

Thru all the struggles, and all the time and effort we've put into this relationship this makes me want to regergitate from the nausea my anxiety gives me .

Are you seriously giving me 'another reason' to not want to live?

You truly aren't attracted to me anymore?

You can't look in my eyes and not feel love for me?

You're completely done with me?

What did I do to deserve any of this?

I've been nothing but there for you in the best ways I can be.

It's been months since we've had any physical affection with each other.

Unless there's 'another reason'.

Pushing me away shows a lot.

You don't want to see me at all.

And more.

I never meant to intentionally hurt you so horrifically that you've come to the conclusion to re-direct the paths we were destined to follow.

Coexisting.

You're ending you and me.

'Together, physically intertwined.

All of who you are and all that's within me, the twin flame connection.'

Separated and blown out.

From:
The other half of your soul

© Amy Jo Koontz