It's 1 am,
All anyone else can hear is the sound of my shaky breathing,
All I can hear is the sound of that little MOTHER F**KING voice in my head telling me that I'm not good enough.

It's 1 am,
And I am making my way into the bathroom while my house is asleep,
I make my way into the bathroom and pour myself a glass of water,
I savour the taste and feeling of the water trickling down into my empty stomach.
It's cool and refreshing.


I sit down next to the toilet and gag.
My fingers down my throat and I gag.
Nothing comes up though, just an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach and throat.

The empty gag is the soundtrack to my self hatred.

- Me.

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