please don't give up on me,
I swear to my father,
I swear to my mother,
that I wont be like him,
I should have known it wasn't easy,
my knees are scard
and my lungs are black,
I swear to my mother I wouldnt be like him,
I swear to my father I wouldn't be him
should have known my thoughts aren't mine,
I should have known how to forget you,
but my thought are saying
"why'd you leave me" "don't you love me"
and "what father leaves his daughters and son?"
I should have known,
that, one high turns into many,
I should have known,
that, one thought turns into many,
I should have known to never loved you
I should have known that it never just stops at a hit of a vape 1 time,
now it's daily,
and I'm high,
7 months clean of weed,
but
o days clean of nic,
Lord, I swear I wouldn't be my father,
but Everytime I sit with my thoughts
"why'd he leave" "what happened" "was it me"
"why" "why" "why"
and then I can't help but cry,
I should have known its not easy,
"I'll put the nicotine down" "I'll try not to touch it"
"I'll swep the urge away"
it never stops,
ill say things, that I can't keep true,
I'm sorry that I sweared to you mother,
I never told you it was true
I just sweared I was sorry and that I'll try
but I never said my thoughts are what I say
forgive this stained mind and heart,
I can't do it anymore, the urge it too strong,
but I promise i won't touch weed again,
I won't fall into the traps he did,
I swear on my heart I'll try to be better then he ever was
but I know anytime I speak or promise something to you,
you think tis a lie,
so I'll try, and try,
but I know,
that you will cry every time I try,
but I don't know for how long my brain can try,
so forgive me of If turn out like him,
please....

© Æ.Ю