you say the word human to me and I think about all the things I've learned studying psychology

I think about Milgram saying humans will kill each other just because they are told to
and the grief of having to hold that knowledge within me
knowing that I would kill you if the situation was right
knowing that you would kill me too

I think about the argument in my textbook of the evil person Vs the evil situation
and the inevitable conclusion that someone had to make the evil situation first
someone had to create the idea of hell and then make up the devil to brainwash us into thinking it wasn't earth

I think about other things I've learnt

the fact that humans are one of the only animals which use smiling as a greeting
rather than seeing bared teeth as a threat
and I can't help but wonder how many children grow up thinking the world wants to eat them alive
and whether we ever unlearn that fear
because our teeth are so sharp that the first thing they do, even as children, is cut through flesh with no regard for the fact that it is their own

you say the word human and I wonder what it stands for

I think about fingers and how perfectly they could slot around someone's neck and squeeze
but then I think about hands and how perfectly they slot with someone else's
the idea that we are made to hold each other up and keep each other together
the fact that you could hurt me so easily
and yet still make the choice to be gentle
the fact that if I was asked to kill you I think I'd rather let it be me who died instead

I think about the story I read of explosives hurled at planes in a war
and not a single one went off
and when they opened them up
to find out if it was luck that saved their lives
they found a note which said
this is all we can do for you
they are trying to make us kill you
and we don't want to
and I remember that maybe the devil isn't here
or maybe we are stronger than he is

I think about children and the way their teeth are so sharp
but they are not born with them
we are born without edges
we learn fear and anger and danger
but we are born soft and trusting
and I think about how laughter spills through the gaps between teeth
about how we also learn hope and happiness and love
and I wonder if maybe our sharpness doesn't cancel out our gentleness

you say the word human and I think of the most dangerous animal on earth

you say the word human and I think about how being held is one of the safest things I've ever felt

you say the word human and I think about the ability to cause so much pain

you say the word human and I think about the desire to save the life of someone you've never met before

you say the word human and I think about the study saying I would kill you

you say the word human and I think about making the choice not to kill you
no matter what the studies say




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