I think I might have abandonment issues.
How do I know that?
I know he cares, I know it's true,
it's genuine.
But still, daily, I overthink it.
He forgets to text back, texts back after hours since reading it.
That's when I break.
And to be honest, I don't hide it.
I tell him. And he reassures me every time.
But when we don't talk, I feel hopeless.
I get attached, too hard, too easy.
And when I feel like I might get hurt,
I start distancing myself.
And I push people away.
I just feel like if it's supposed to end in a heartbreak, it should end soon,
when I can still take it.
But I don't want it to end, I'm happy.
I finally found someone who cares for me the way I care for him.
Someone who is kind and amazing.
He asked me why do I think he's dreamy.
And apart everything else,
it's because this all feels like a dream.
And I'm afraid of just waking up
and slowly forgetting this all.
I don't want to wake up, to face reality.
I wan't to remember his eyes,
staring deeply into my soul.
I wan't to remember all the moments,
exactly as they happened.
In the night, I don't want to go to sleep
because I know,
that when I wake up in the morning,
I won't feel the same.
© QQ