(TRIGGER WARNING: this is a vulnerable , emotional, and quickly written entry with fleeting thoughts. my heart goes out to anyone who has come face to face with their worst inner parts, heartbreak, pain, or anything negative that doesnt sit right with your soul. Things do get better with time. You are valid.)

Faded white socks and old wrinkled t-shirts stuff in plastic trash bags.
Four sets of wheels that'd go every 3 miles before it overheated.
"But just be grateful for shelter."
My thoughts running higher than the speed that I'm going.
"But just be grateful for movement."
Bouncing back and forth between toxic environments with nowhere to call home.
"But just be grateful for breathing."
I've settled for something much less than what is humane.
"But just be grateful."
Crying in showers that drop from hot to cold.
"But just be grateful for water."
Kissing the bottle until I'm flat on the hard wooden floor.
"But just be grateful for the ground."
"She's such a sweet girl, so kind, so nice."
Just be grateful she's smiling.
No one would know what would hold me that night.
But just be grateful you didn't know.
My lips would never seek help even if I were drowning in the pouring rain.
But just be grateful I did seek help.
I've kissed death goodbye a few dozen times.
Whether it's a silver barrel or a phone call that saved me.
Before I decided to impulsively floor the gas pedal.
In and out of consciousness, in and out of hospital beds.
It would all go away if I just take my meds.
I lay my pills beside her while I sleep.
After all, she is the one who continues to save me.
I'm still here.
Either way, just be grateful.
-C.
© BipolarPoet