I have relapsed again
just lost the zeal and the bargain
forgetting my resilience to be unflinching
how I promised to keep on the engine
time never seems to add up for healing

happiness was a decoy when depression was creeping in
between my sanity to insanity was a tiny tread so thin
I’ve entangled myself so much in the finesse of change
not knowing I’m locking myself up in a terrible cage
worst decision I was proud of

I said “never” multiple times
clutched unto the towel not to let it go
is it me or is it the me in me that is to be blamed
an awkward life I chose which meanders my existence
insignia of grief hovers like halo

judge me not when you see me blue
I’m constantly in a mental raging war
when I soliloquy, I’m in communion with myself
judge not my sanity because of this act
I am my last straw, I don’t want to break

@talk2leigh
(twitter & insta)
6:23am
22 July 2023
© tonyseunleigh