Wantings

The urge, want and need.
She tries her best to not think about it again.
That first day she did it, was beautiful.
The pain wasn't there, only the sight of the razor sliding across her bare skin.
Seconds later there's a tiny cut, blood starting to ooze out.
It amazes her how easy it was, how harmless.
She does it again, till there's three little cuts.
Three cuts is all she does.
Scared now of what she might do in the future.
If those three little cuts were so easy, what else will be?

Hiding

So easy to hide it.
It's invisible.
Not there to anyone but me.
Only I know and see those three cuts.
Red-ish around the outside.
Brown where it scabbed over to heal.
A reminder of what I did.

Beginning

It wasn't like me not to do it.
I've had the thoughts.
First I just scratched.
No razor at all.
But to scratch hurt and didn't really do anything.
I didn't want the pain.
Yet the stress was to much.
I had to do something.
The pain took the stress away.
Took everything away, like it was never there.

One year

In one year, the scratching began.
Once there was one scratch, the others followed.
But...