Here one moment and gone the next

Never should ve sent that angry text

Now the world is mad at me

And I dont have the remedy



Another fucking apology

Because l cant control me

I am aware of my flaws

I know Im not normal



But I'm constantly explaining

The root of the pain and

It's tough to understand

But it's not planned



I really struggle to reign in

The thoughts going insane

In my mind when a thing

Starts happening



Colour blind to hue balance

Theres barely a chance

To bite my tongue

Before the damage is done



The guilt is another thing

Utterly draining

I fuck up again

What do I say?



If I say it's my illness

They'll say it's excuses

I have to be humble

When I stumble



Apologize again

It won't happen again.

But I cant promise that

I can't change how I react

In a day.. like Rome

They need a home



For my thoughts

The ones not forgot

But I still feel responsible

When it causes trouble.



The guilt eats at me

Not to mention the anxiety

It dam nearly kills me

And that's not exaggerating



Well over fifty dents

In my past attempts

Hundreds of pills

And therapy bills



Just coping

Focusing on the sting

Instead of the pain

And the apologies again



When will it end?

Well. when Im dead

There'll be freedom

Then my

© -Athenaa