A grief I'm not able to understand,
Don't know if I'm deep down under the water or above the sand.
Life never was as I planned.
But it's okay, I understand.

I wish I could just sleep deeply for a moment.
And mend this heart inside that's broken.
I want a place where I can be alone,
Please leave me on my own.
I want nobody , my heart has turned to stone.
No thoughts, no feelings for the forever things I've known.
No attachment, no mercy shown.

Will life ever show me happiness?
Or will I always have to live in this emptiness?

I feel so heavy, so drained,
Locked doors and chained,
I don't know whom to blame.
This pain is unnamed.
So many scars every day, I'm badly stained.

I wanna come out of these chains,
And see what remains.
Wanna live the life I wanna live .
I wanna spread the smiles
And happiness I wanna give.
I won't be like the cruel world,
I wanna forgive.
I don't just wanna be alive,
I wanna exist.

© Su