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To my fucking friend !
To my dearest friend ,
(Fuck you and your friendship first of all)
You can choose to stand by while I fall down,
You can choose not to give a hand while I try to get back up ,
For better or worse , It was my decision to carve you into my heart in the name of friend ,
It was I who stubbornly chose to love you ,
It was I who deliberately sat with you in the storm and summer after ,
So I'll give you that
But you don't get to make fun of how I hang on to the cliff,
Or laugh at how awkwardly I am hanging ,
Or criticize how bad my hands are shaking ,
Or scrutinize how my sobbing isn't real enough,
Or to poke at my chest to guess if it could bleed yet beat,
Not after all the times you had to step on my bearings to get out of your own shit ,
Not after all the times you had to crawl on my back to get out of your own cliff,
Not after all the times I prioritized finding your feet first while I was losing my own,
Not after all those times I hurt giving you my hand not making a scene or a sound,
Not cause you are standing upright now with balance,
Not when a piece of the earth you're standing was built on my bones
Because that's what friends ought to do ,
Not that you know
But I don't come to you as your friend ,
I know you too well to not foolishly wish for your comfort ,
I ask of you as a person barely getting by on the edge ,
whose so called friend 's words threaten to blow away her hold
I'll forever be grateful for your company ,
( nevermind the price I paid for it )
but I was never glad of your non existent friendship
And if I am half as cruel as you ,
I would have said that to your face long ago ,
Fortunately Or unfortunately since I am not I will choose to smile at you today
Cause the instinct to put you before me has made it's way into some unknown parts of me ,
And it feels like I am about to lose my sanity for your safety
So , I plead you to reduce my sentence for being your friend ,
I don't want to fall watching the frivolous eyes of my dearest friend
Full of mirth how embarrassingly I do it all
© myrottenpoetry_13
(Fuck you and your friendship first of all)
You can choose to stand by while I fall down,
You can choose not to give a hand while I try to get back up ,
For better or worse , It was my decision to carve you into my heart in the name of friend ,
It was I who stubbornly chose to love you ,
It was I who deliberately sat with you in the storm and summer after ,
So I'll give you that
But you don't get to make fun of how I hang on to the cliff,
Or laugh at how awkwardly I am hanging ,
Or criticize how bad my hands are shaking ,
Or scrutinize how my sobbing isn't real enough,
Or to poke at my chest to guess if it could bleed yet beat,
Not after all the times you had to step on my bearings to get out of your own shit ,
Not after all the times you had to crawl on my back to get out of your own cliff,
Not after all the times I prioritized finding your feet first while I was losing my own,
Not after all those times I hurt giving you my hand not making a scene or a sound,
Not cause you are standing upright now with balance,
Not when a piece of the earth you're standing was built on my bones
Because that's what friends ought to do ,
Not that you know
But I don't come to you as your friend ,
I know you too well to not foolishly wish for your comfort ,
I ask of you as a person barely getting by on the edge ,
whose so called friend 's words threaten to blow away her hold
I'll forever be grateful for your company ,
( nevermind the price I paid for it )
but I was never glad of your non existent friendship
And if I am half as cruel as you ,
I would have said that to your face long ago ,
Fortunately Or unfortunately since I am not I will choose to smile at you today
Cause the instinct to put you before me has made it's way into some unknown parts of me ,
And it feels like I am about to lose my sanity for your safety
So , I plead you to reduce my sentence for being your friend ,
I don't want to fall watching the frivolous eyes of my dearest friend
Full of mirth how embarrassingly I do it all
© myrottenpoetry_13
