Fill me with fear and self loathing.
Hate as embers hotly glowing.
Disguised cleverly as happiness growing.
Feel these withered words flowing.

Just as I will die every day anew.
Hate me not my dearest friend.
Inside I am quite similar to you.
I will never go so do not worry.
I'll never follow through.
Please do not hide away now.
Your the only one who is still looking.
I will run away from myself.
Masked outside with a happy smiling face,
while inside simultaneously frowning sadly.
I will trust in absolutely nothing.
For I have learned not one single thing,
worth the time it took to learn it.

Too many times I have let me down.
In the realization of this miserable melancholy false and fleeting solace is found.
Delicious dreams fade into horrible nightmares.
Much like a destructive demon from hell's depths unbound.
Into cracked, tortured, porcelain pieces I have fallen,
and am scattered carelessly upon dried and broken ground.

I will run away from you and your tantalizing trust.
As I have with all of the rest.
Please dont fault me on all of my faults my forlorn friend.
I'm guilty of being only human.
Suffice it to say that inside im far from the best.

© Josh Selby