I sit there, my breathing getting faster and faster.all of a sudden it just stops. oxygen don’t enter my body at all. I keep forgetting to breath. I’m trapped in an endless circle of worry and I don’t know how to get out. I find my breathing card, that is supposed to help my breathing become back into my control. how pathetic I think, I have to read a piece of paper to show me to breath. my mind whispers horrible, disgusting stuff that could happen to me. I try shut it up but it gets louder and louder till all I can hear is the voice in the back of my head. a big round imaginary rock gets stuck in my throat, trying to pierce its way out. my face goes bright red, tears drip out my eyes and trickle down my face. I wish my life could be different. I wish I could go out without worrying about who I would see. I wish I wasn’t so argumentative getting in fights all the time. I wish my life was like a normal teengager. I could wish for a long long time but they won’t come true. I try think off happy thoughts, but then an unknown imagineary person robs my mind and replaces the good thoughts for shitty unwelcome thoughts. I think to myself what would people think of me if they found out what goes on in my head. would they feel sorry for me or just laugh in my face saying I’m begging for attention.



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